The Untold Skills of the Hiten Misurugi Style
by Lone Cheese
Summary: UPDATED Jan'06 Lesson 3 partly done. Hiko teaches Kenshin the other skills that are part of the hiten Misurugi Style.
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
I dunno if I can call this a prologue really, but for today, in my book, it is. This right here is the beginning of the conversation that gave birth to this screwed up story. Read it if you like, it's all good. If you're not much for reading other people's confusing aim conversations just skip to  
next chapter: "Lesson One"  
  
Note: this is not a chat based story, so don't report me for that please, this is just so you can see a glimps of the pshyco's who had the idea for it.  
  
SpencersShadow (2:29:12 PM): me and val were eating lunch and discussing the curse of lemons  
  
lonecheeze (2:29:23 PM): nice.. and?...  
  
SpencersShadow (2:29:27 PM): and hold on 1 sec  
  
lonecheeze (2:29:30 PM): k  
  
SpencersShadow (2:30:57 PM): and we figured that maybe hiko taught kenshin more than the just sword fighting  
  
SpencersShadow (2:31:02 PM): but womanizing too  
  
SpencersShadow (2:31:09 PM): and thats why battousi's a sex god  
  
lonecheeze (2:31:20 PM): hahahahahaha!!!!  
  
SpencersShadow (2:31:22 PM): cause hiko told him all he needed to know  
  
lonecheeze (2:31:24 PM): ...the hi  
  
lonecheeze (2:31:33 PM): grrr, stupid comp...  
  
SpencersShadow (2:31:40 PM): the ?  
  
lonecheeze (2:31:52 PM): the hiten mitserugi style of womanizing  
  
SpencersShadow (2:31:56 PM): lol  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:30 PM): yes, and that is why they are both japanese sex gods  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:38 PM): because nothing surpasses hiten mitsurugi  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:45 PM): in any event  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:48 PM): speed  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:50 PM): agility  
  
lonecheeze (2:32:51 PM): "before , i must tell you, there is another art that goes hand in hand with the sword style"  
  
*(note: that was me typing like a mad woman to get the point across, It's suppose to be hiko introducing the other hiten-whatever style to kenshin, I'm gonna look that up before Ch1, back to the conversation.)  
  
SpencersShadow (2:32:56 PM): power  
  
lonecheeze (2:32:58 PM): lol, agility  
  
lonecheeze (2:33:03 PM): POWER!!!!!!  
  
lonecheeze (2:33:07 PM): haha!!!  
  
SpencersShadow (2:33:09 PM): and what is that art?  
  
SpencersShadow (2:33:30 PM): Master  
  
lonecheeze (2:33:37 PM): WOMANIZING, you shall become a sex god KENSHIN!!!"  
  
*And so from that point forward I take the ideas in the rest of our conversation and put them in story form. It's all reader friendly(except that I can't write)  
  
Oh excuse my bad spelling in that chat, I have a hard time figuring out how that stuff is spelled. ~ LC Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu 


	2. New Skills to Learn

Okay, Lesson 1 will be the next chapter, this is the part of the actual  
story where Kenshin learns of this new training.  
  
I don't own Kenshin or Hiko or any other charactures(but sure wouldn't mind  
it).  
  
Thanks to Volk Zyta, Arien2, and Hecate for reviewing, I hope you won't be disappointed with the story. I'm trying this present tense-ish form right now, R&R and tell me if you like it this way (like if you can follow it),  
or think I should write with a different style.  
  
thoughts inside Hiko's head   
something said just between Hiko and Kenshin when people are around   
  
A New Skill to Learn  
  
The sun has risen barely above the horizon spreading a warm glow across the land. Hiko sits on a log, by the small campfire that is set up with breakfast cooking. He pours himself another cup of sake and slowly brings it up to his lips. (YES!!! Of course Hiko is drinking sake in the morning! What else would he be doing?)  
  
Twelve-year-old Kenshin stumbles out into the warm morning sun, half dressed without his shirt on. Hiko calmly raises his head from his sake cup at the sound of Kenshin's footsteps. Without turning to look at his apprentice, Hiko speaks:  
  
"Good morning Kenshin. Did you sleep well?"  
  
Kenshin looks up, "Oro? Oh, hai Master, I slept well"  
  
"Good, because today you learn something new, something powerful. It is a skill that will open you up to knew knowledge & wisdom."  
  
"But you say that every day, Master."  
  
"SILENCE BAKA DESHI!!! This is different. This is an art that uses the speed, power and agility of the Hiten Misurugi Style, along with personality skills, that you are yet to learn you pathetic, shy, naive little fool."  
  
"And what is this art, Master?"  
  
Hiko raises his sake cup triumphantly, "Womanizing, you will become a sex god Kenshin!!!  
  
"A sex god, Master?"  
  
"Oh yes, I haven't explained the birds and the bees to you yet, have I? Oh well," He takes a sip of sake "get dressed. We're going into town for this first lesson."  
  
There, the first regular chapter, sorry that it's so short; the next one will be better. With school it's hard to get chapters done now. Oh well, it's a parody, not that much suspense or anything. I'll try to get next chapter done as soon as possible. Later, LC 


	3. Lesson 1

Sorry the last chapter was so short. I didn't want a little writer's block to get in the way of putting a little more of the story up, this one should be better, a lot better. Yeah, I know Kaoru is like 10 or 11 years younger than Kenshin, but I decided it would be fun to put her in here anyway. So, enjoy.  
  
~ thoughts inside Hiko's head ~ * something said just between Hiko and Kenshin when people are around * (  
that either means they have telepathic communication in this story or  
they're really good at whispering and not being noticed)  
  
Lesson One  
  
Hiko strolls down the crowded street, his cape flowing behind him and a sake bottle hanging from his right hand. Kenshin is behind him, almost jogging to keep up. Kenshin's face is set in concentration, with a hint of confusion and disgust showing through. (Hiko told him a few facts of life on the way into town, and he is still trying to digest them.) Hiko comes to an abrupt stop. Kenshin runs into him. Hiko turns and looks down at Kenshin.  
  
  
  
"Watch where you're going. Keep your head up, the ground is not that interesting."  
  
  
  
"Hai Master"  
  
"Now, pay attention. Today we will study the object of a sex god's concentration:  
  
the woman. Lesson 1, Numeral I, Part A."  
  
"Master?"  
  
  
  
"What!?!!"  
  
"How can you teach me this? All you do is drink sake. When have you ever had a woman?"  
  
"Don't question me Baka Deshi! I have many women, at many times. Now listen."  
  
"Hai Master."  
  
"First, you must determine the type of woman you plan to seduce. By accurately reading the woman's personality, you can deduce what kind of charm will work on her." Kenshin's face is again set in concentration. "Is any of this going through your incredibly thick skull, baka deshi?!"  
  
"Is this technique similar to predicting the other person's moves in swordsmanship, Master?"  
  
"Exactly, you are catching on Kenshin. Now, it's time to pick a target Kenshin."  
  
"Oro?"  
  
"A good looking woman, Kenshin."  
  
"Oh." Kenshin scans the crowded street with intense eyes. "There, that woman looks nice, Master."  
  
"Good, nice choice. I would choose to seduce her myself. Now, watch while I steal your woman."  
  
"But master."  
  
"Don't wine, baka deshi. It's for your own good." Hiko approaches a lady who is holding an umbrella in one hand and a basket of turnips in the other. He greets her and asks for her name. She replies with a polite smile. Kenshin sneaks closer to hear better what kind of vocal charm his master is using on the lady. He is just in time to hear Hiko deliver his line. ". I offer you my explicit self."  
  
The woman's face freezes in disgust, "You what?"  
  
"Oro?"  
  
"I know you must be quite stunned. I am the great Hiko, after all." The lady hits him upside the head with her basket and hurries away as fast as she can. Hiko stands rubbing the back of his head for a moment. "Now Kenshin, you see how bad your choice in women is?"  
  
"But Master."  
  
"Pick another one."  
  
"Hai, Sir." Kenshin begins to scan the crowd again. "There, that one Master!"  
  
"Hmmm, even prettier than the last one. Hopefully she's not as violent. You tend to be drawn to the violent type." Kenshin is still staring. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, use your Hiten Mitserugi charm on her." Kenshin snaps out of his daze.  
  
"Oh. Hai!" Kenshin walks timidly toward the woman.  
  
* What are you doing baka deshi? Hold your head up with confidence *  
  
Kenshin makes an attempt to straiten up but stumbles over himself in the process. He has no time to gain his balance and stumbles right into the lady. The startled lady watched him fall to the ground.  
  
"Oh! Are you alright?"  
  
"Forgive me!" Kenshin grovels at her feet, "I tripped. I am clumsy!"  
  
* Yes, you are. STOP GROVELING!!!!! *  
  
"It's okay, everybody trips. Standup." Kenshin is hypnotized by her  
friendly smile as he stands to his feet. "What are you hurrying around  
the street for?"  
  
"I umm. I'm getting some sake for my master," he points to Hiko.  
  
* Good cover Kenshin */ Hiko waves at the lady.  
  
"Well why is he making you get it. Can't he get his own sake? I ought  
to teach him a little lesson about how to treat children! That child-  
corrupting jerk should feel the wrath of a Kamiya Kashein swordswoman. I  
Kaoru, will bring him this wrath with my wooden sword!" she stomps off  
towards Hiko.  
  
* I wouldn't let her try anything if I were you *  
  
Kenshin grabs her arm. "K- Kaoru dono, I offer you my explicit self."  
  
"You what!!!???!!!!"  
  
* Nice delivery, I think she fell for it *  
  
"You dirty corrupted child!"  
  
"Oro?"  
  
* hmm, maybe a compliment would work better on this kind. Tell her you  
like her hair ribbon. *  
  
"I like your ribbon Kaoru dono."  
  
"Huh? Oh. well thank you! It's my newest one. Do you thing the color  
is really okay with this kimono?"  
  
"Hai, it goes very well."  
  
"I just got it last week and. " she continues on about the ribbon.  
  
* Now, Kenshin, ask her to join you for lunch." *  
  
* Must I? *  
  
* Yes, of course. Then diner, and maybe. the night. *  
  
"What?!" Kenshin starts turning a little red.  
  
"Did you say something?"  
  
"Umm."  
  
*Ask her *  
  
"Would like to join me for lunch? My master is paying of course."  
  
"Well I would, but I don't even know your name," she smiles sweetly, and  
Kenshin is mesmerized once again by that smile.  
  
"M, my name. ???"  
  
* Master, what's my name?  
  
* Kenshin, also a Hiten Mitserugi Sex god. baka *  
  
"K, Kenshin Sex god. also a Hiten Mitserugi baka."  
  
"What?!" Kaoru's face twists in confusion. Kenshin snaps out of the  
trance.  
  
"Kenshin."  
  
* Good, you have a natural delivery, much like myself *  
  
"Ok, Kenshin, I'd love to have lunch with you." She holds her arm out for  
Kenshin to escort her. "where should we go?" Again Kenshin is  
absolutely overwhelmed.  
  
"Beef stew?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
* Wait, did you say I was paying? *  
  
* Hai *  
  
* Well, hold on a sec you little. *  
  
Kenshin hooks his arm in Kaoru's. * No time, master. I must escort Kaoru dono to lunch. *  
  
* Hey, might I mention to her the last time you wet your bed. Or that time you thought you were dying and. *  
  
* Master, it sounds like you don't want to stalk up on sake today. *  
  
~ Stupid brat ~ * Very well, but you will pay during practice. *  
  
Kenshin woos Kaoru as they walk down the street. Hiko follows behind, clinging to his bottle of sake.  
  
"Kaoru, you have very beautiful eyes." He flashes a nervous smile.  
  
"Why thank you very much Kenshin." She giggles.  
  
* ~ There! Finally! Band has been sucking my soul for the past few weeks and I haven't been left with any time to publish. I worked on it bit by bit. The next chapter is all gonna have to come from my head now. I basically followed a chat scenario my friend and I made up. Hope you liked it, R&R. I'll get the next chapter done as soon as I can, but it might be short (not as short as "New Skills to Learn"). ~LC ~ * 


	4. Lesson 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the handsome Kenshin I don't own the sexy Hiko. I'm just borrowing them for a little fun

Sorry it took me so long to put this up. I've had this chapter written for a long time, but never did post it. Thought I was gonna add more to it, but it's long enough I can continue it in the next chapter.

A.N. Oh, incase you don't know: "baka deshi" means stupid student. I don't know if I've got the words in the correct order or not, but you get the point.

**Lesson 2**

Kenshin and Kaoru sit on either side of a beef pot facing each other. Kensin sits rigidly with his hands on his knees. Behind him, Hiko leans against the other side of the dividing wall, drinking sake, and ignoring the waitress who's making googley eyes at him.

Kenshin

Mmm?

Are you going to let the woman control this encounter? Humph, or lack there of

I like listening to her, master

"What?" My baka deshi did not just tell me he enjoys letting a WOMAN control his conversation! "Waitress! More sake!"

Kenshin is again in mesmerized state, oblivious to Hiko's continuous grumbling. Finally, Hiko finishes his ranting and raving and comes up with his next instructions.

Kenshin

(Dreamily) She likes flowers

** KENSHIN!!! **

Ha-hai!

Time for lesson 2… Dealing with the talkative ones

Pour the woman some more sake, Kenshin! And while you're at it, grind a little of this into your own sake. Hopefully it will be of use to you later.

What will this do, Master?

Just obey, you will see

**2 hours later…**

"Where are we going, Kenshin? We sure are a ways from town."

"Master told me to take you home, something about getting you to bed."

"Well, I am quite tired…"

"Here we are."

"Oh, what a beautiful little bath house! Where's the rest of your house?"

"No, Kaoru-dono, that's the bath," he points to a wooden tub sitting beside the cottage, "this is where I live, with Master Hiko… Would you like some hot tea before bed?"

"Oh, yes please! I have quite a headache." Inside the cottage, Kenshin sets a pillow for Kaoru and heads outside to fetch some water. On the way back from the well he passes Hiko, who is enjoying yet another cup of sake by his campfire.

"What's taking you so long, Kenshin?"

"What, Master?"

"Well, from what I can see, through the peep hole, she is still fully clothed."

"Well of course she is, Master. Wha…"

"Remember what I told you about on the way to the market place today?"

"But Master…"

"No excuses, Kenshin! Get to work!"

"Hai!" Kenshin spins on his heels to face the cottage and marches off to do his "duty." As he approaches the doorway, he sees Kaoru sprawled out on his futon. He stops and watches her, wondering how she read master Hiko's mind. Suddenly she rolls over and picks up what looks like one of Hiko's special sake cups. A few feet away sits a jug from Hiko's special stash. Kaoru's movements are unstable; she nearly falls on her face trying to sit up. Somehow, despite her confused activity, something about her draws Kenshin's interest. She looks… sexy. Something inside him begins to stir. Kenshin lets out a little noise and Kaoru looks up.

"Hey Kenshin! This is good stuff! Want some? It really takes care of the headaches." The strange, oddly seductive smile on her face sets Kenshin off. He ducks out of her view and dumps the entire bucket of water on himself, soaking his hakama and sending a chill up his spine.

Hope you liked that one, I'll try to write more. I'm just not sure where to go from here.

If you have any suggestions, let me know, I might consider them.  
LC


	5. Lesson 3

A/N: sorry It's been so long. I had trouble deciding how I wanted this chapter to play out and decided it would be best to just go ahead and write it out even if I can't agree with myself on how it should go.

Kenshin wakes with a start to the smell of strong sake and the sound of his master's voice.

"KENSHIN!"

"HAI!"

"Wake up! You have failed lesson 2. I can see you'll take lots of work, but we can't continue just yet. You have laundry to do."

"Hai, Master."

"So, grab the bucket and fetch water from the creek."

"The creek, Master? But we have a well."

"Nevermind that, not only did you fail yesterday, but you made a fool of me, and MADE ME PAY FOR LUNCH! You must pay with extra work." Kenshin stood and headed for the bucket. On the way, he peeked inside the cottage to see if Kaoru was still asleep, but she wasn't in there.

"Where's Kaoru, Master?"

"HUH. I dunno. She took off earlier, mumbled something about a headache…"

Sighing, Kenshin picked up the bucket and sauntered off towards the creek.

As Kenshin approached the creek he heard splashing. He nearly dropped the water bucket when he spotted what was making the sound. Kenshin immediately covered his eyes… but peeked through his fingers.

OO such a short chapter, I know. I'm very sorry, but I've had this part written for so long that I decided it just needs to be posted. I don't want people to think I've given up.

Next part coming VERY soon. I hope.

**I may just add to this chapter and repost it later.**


End file.
